Saturday, 28 January 2017

Preview - COSPlay.... the Chalfont of St. Peter Ndlovu

There's a point in every football team's season where the penny drops and you come to the realisation of what your probable natural resting step, on the league ladder, is more than likely to be come the screech of the final final whistle at the conclusion of the campaign. Being a 'Boro fan, obviously it was taken as read that our night would come at the hands of our title opponents, on a fucking freezing night that we had to drive for fucking hours to get to. A game that had been moved more times then a Winston Churchill bust in the White House.
It was a conscious decision for us not to issue a report post the Royston Potato chips debacle, so we're certainly not going to break cover on that now. We were shit, they were excellent. The following evening we learnt, from our overlord, that half the team had been injured, ill, stuck at work, AWOL, dreaming of pastures new and indulging in high class prostitutes... so, while there was still no excuse for the contrast to the prior Saturday's monumental dismantling of the BRovers, it was some miniscule crumb of solace to cling to, sort of.

So with our plucky neighbours giving us the massive hard cold shoulder on Tuesday night, the cold hearted pitch that she is, all roads lead back to fortress Cherrywood for the baptism of their holiness, the Chalfont of St. Peter Ndlovu.

So what do we know about "The Saints"? Well we know fuck all about them as it's frankly not in our remit to scout our opponents. However, we can certainly take an irreverent look at some random crap and draw a completely biased opinion on what the potential outcome of today will be. 

The Chalfont of St Peter Ndlovu are currently resting in 12th place. They certainly appear to have become persistent sinners since the last time we played them. Their disciples arrive at the San Cherrio off the back of 2 titanic home battles with the Aylesbury twins, a 3-2 win and a 2-2 draw. Prior to that they were crucified by the DunceTable, Barry Mar-ni-low, BRovers & the B-field psychos. You don't need us to point out that a win should be gospel. They haven't drawn away from home this season. So shit or bust for them generally. We ruined the congregation back in late September with a 2-0 crusade. 
TV's Bradley Walsh was a striking parishioner at the Chalfont of St Peter Ndlovu back in the early 80's, for a short while. Hopefully we can spin "the wheel of fortune", "The Chase" them down and take another step towards our "Coronation Street" as promotion shoo-ins.

What do we know from our messiah? (he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!) Well, the squad update has been put back more times then spare undercrackers in a secondary school lost property bin. That said, Sam "Ali" Shaban appears to have had a u-turn and decided to keep heading it into the net, as opposed to heading for the exit. Sam "Fogle" Pearce has trained with the squad since the conclusion of his loan spell, so it would not be the biggest surprise in the world to see him turning out again. Jack "Mischa" Barton will hopefully be back with a supercharged inhaler & Eddie "Gillette" Smith will have gone more then 12 hours without injuring his ankle. We're hopeful of seeing super cap'n CJ "Pammy" Fearn back to somewhere near full strength too. But in Summary... WE DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING!

With the glorious aroma of the communion of free Burger and Chips, for God's sake it's time for atonement. 

Kick off at the San Cherrio is 3pm.

theBoroWalk prediction: 6-1

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