Saturday 19 August 2017

Royston the bogeyman

Well well well!! Play average and nick a clean sheet and 3 points away from the San Cherrio?? This step 3 stuff hasn't changed much since the last time we were here has it... was the main over cocky refuge of conversation post our victorious return from Cambridgeshire on Saturday evening. That said, thanks to those fixture arranging bellends at the southern league, our first homer would bring our old adversaries from last season back into the frying pan to try and continue their stretch as main protagonists in the 'pain in our arse' saga.

Ohhh hang on, first thing on the agenda though... Massive news from TheBoroWalk towers...

Anyway......
Keen to come along and inspect the tinpot egg cup they were so cruelly robbed of, at the end of last season, Royston rocked up to the hallowed turf of the RCS still in search of their first step 3 points after succumbing, at home, to Stratford Town on day 1. Both our results could well have gone either way so the laws of physics suggested this game would go 1 of 2 ways. Absolute goal-fest or squeaky bum nail biter. 

Team news? A case of as you were as the Molesey(you-next-Tuesday) effect still weighed heavy on the Boro line up with Mustard and Richlist forced to remain dormant. 4 subs again, with no real attacking options on the bench. We knew Royston were rigid and strong, like a phallic shaped set of brass knuckles. The hope was that we wouldn't get drawn into an up and under battle again as otherwise we'd really need to employ some sort of trojan-like horse effort for our little chaps up front. For the Royston potato peelers, a few new faces were apparent... but plenty of last seasons guard to evoke the nightmares of that brutal ball freezing night back in January.

Kick off came, following the indignity of the salmon losing the toss and having us kicking into the PRE. It would be the Roystonians who'd have the first semi sighting of the ballbag a couple of mins in when they found a few acres of space in behind "Ceejfax" Fearn, thankfully their frontman ballooned it like a clown at a job interview though.

Boro settled quickly once again, free of the burden of the chase which weighed so heavy at points last season. Cutting in from the right, Clintons rattled a sighter which caught the defender and meandered out for a corner. He got up to bend the resulting set piece on to the head of the salmon who still could not conquer the stream, heading high and wide.

Next came the move of the half, Reg setting things off to Clintons who sent out a heat seeker to the tappy toes of tiny dancer, down the right wing. He cut inside and set the hoffen on a surge, his final effort being somewhere between a cross and a shot, drawing multiple "ooooooohhhhhs" from the peckish PRE.

The Salmon was in usual angry bastard mode and picked up a yellow card to add fuel to his fire. I didn't see it as I was watching a kid walk down the side with 2 hot drinks, waiting to earn myself a £250 cheque from You've Been Framed. I'm told it was a touch heavy though. Shocking.

That was just the starter in the 2 course a la carte menu of disappointment which was being served up in quick succession. The resulting free kick was bundled over the top and a poor clearance from Johnny Regis and then The Easter Bunyan losing his man allowed someone called James TinPotton to steal in and ram one past Jagger and in to the corner of the brand spanking new ball bag net. 0-1

These things happen, nobody panic. Play our game, it'll come, game of 2 halves, put the ball in the onion bag, don't tell him your name Pike etc etc.
The Hoffen, still hungry for some touches found a quarter of an inch of space out on the right again and whipped in a centre which one of their big back lads headed juuuuust over. 
The Easter Bunyan then cranked up a gear as he did well to work himself in to shooting opportunities on 2 separate occasions. First gobbling up a shoddy goal kick before ultimately dragging his shot wide, before a nice move with Curonimo set him up to blast one into the top corner, but he opted for a side foot 'placer' delivered with about as much venom as an impotent earthworm.

Boro finally had the ball in the net on the stroke of HT as Clintons threaded it through to the hoffen, who'd be hanging on the shoulder of the last defender like a giant bag of oven chips. Unfortunately the linesman decided to 'play by the rules' and stuck his big old bellend flag up his arse.

That was pretty much it. We'd done well at the back, goal aside, but had been somewhat disjointed at times in the midfield. The lofted balls were not working against their rock hard spine. Needed more width and to get Clintons and tiny dancer running down their full backs. HT 0-1

Into the second half and after the visitors finally picked up a card for persistent bellendy-ness, Clintons took matters into his own hands and, robbing them around the half way line, finally surged at the shocked right back, beating him hands down and distributing a centre not seen since the Lib Dem gains of 2010. The Hoffen's run was absolutely perfect and it seemed an odds on ballbag buster... unfortunately their stick man had other ideas and managed to clamber it wide. Balls.

Boro continued to work hard, snubbing out any creativity the Roystonians tried to muster. The other BIG opportunity came towards the end of the half when a free kick was whipped in deep and high and "hightower" Saville rose to the summit, heading down to the far post. Again what would have happily nestled, on any other given day, was clawed out to safety by the ballbag stickman. It was at that point that the sinking feeling started to set in something chronic.

There was still time for Curonimo to unleash a rasping right foot half volley from the edge of the box, in the final moments, which dipped like a rich tea biscuit in a steaming cup of PG tips. It beat the keeper but also beat the crossybar. His reaction was just about spot on for us all.

Injury time brought Jagger back peddling into his own post when one of the boneheads tried to lob him... then Boro had 2 corners right at the death, the final one involving our full 11 in the box. But it wasn't to be. Our visitors clearly exuberant with the smash and grab and indeed their first ever points at this level. FT 0-1

Summary. Well it's true, we did play well, on the whole, and didn't deserve to lose. The Royston juggernaut, which hammered 8 past us last season, was pretty much completely nullified. Our centre backs had the visiting strikers in their back pockets, goal aside, which was evidenced by the multitudes of offsides across the 90 mins. 
Minor gripes from this old git? Their full backs had strokes when Clintons and tiny dancer ran at them. We had to be more persistent with the width and allow them to do what they do best.... cause confusion, damage and opportunities. They're 2 of the finest wing-masters in this league.
Less of the balls up in the air, it was clear their CB's were going to carry on winning headers against our little fellas. Also, why was Ceejfax at LB when we had Truncheon and/or Clintons and/or Reg to do that role?
Finally, no attacking plan B from the bench is frustrating (yes I know, budgets and all that). 
That is all! 

On to Saturday... LET'S CREAM THAT REDITCH!!

#UpTheBoro









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